Seriously

SO sorry for the lack of written word.
I will give you some now because I have a paper to write and thus I do not want to write it.

Recent Events in Life:

• Michael Jackson is back. ps. That picture is gross. like horror movie gross. I'll show you twice in case you skip it the first time.
• In other news: There's a cougar in Spooner, WI.
• Just kidding, I mean the man-eating kind. BA-DUM-SCHA!
• In more other news, some guy was about to shoot this girl because she wouldn't date him. He was going to tell her what's up at a Hollister...in Rosedale... oh and he was going to kill her mom and everyone who was in the store, too. But he really did kill her mom. He's in jail now, thanks. Why wouldn't you want to date a guy with such persistence?
• Chris Brown still sucks, just listen to this guy.

• Ps. I've been watching the news. By "watching," I mean I watched it once (tonight).
• Pps. All of these things I learned on the news.

In other more important things...

• I was reading this girl's facebook status, "Good Luck Britney!" Aww cute... she's telling her friend, Britney, good luck. I continue reading: "...Circus tour starts today!!" ARE YOU KIDDING ME. By the way...BRITNEY SPEARS IS NOT OMNISCIENT, SHE CANNOT SEE YOUR FACEBOOK STATUS.

More news, just because it's fun.

• HEY! Why not write an article about an Octoupus fitting into a tiny box?
• Or maybe "butt dialing"? I bet the rollercoaster calls are confusing, since there's a ton of screaming, unless that is, you are on an ultra lame rollercoaster. Then in that case, maybe you really are making an emergency call to make that rollercoaster not suck anymore. It's not a laughing matter, people die from rollercoaster boredom every year.