Here's whats happening around the world

I have begun to watch Harry Potter every night so I can learn how to talk while in London next semester.
I also have directions to get to Diagon Alley, the number for a broom maker, and the best place to get potion ingredients.

I'm having a swine flu party next week if anyone wants to come. You don't have to bring anything to eat, but you do need to supply an infected person or pig to play with. Dress code: no face masks.

REALLY. Can she rub my head or something? I need her good luck. I'm fairly certain I've never won anything. Or at least anything worth remembering apparently. That's absolutely ridiculous. Absolutely.

Gross. From my experience working at a post office, I think it's safe to say whoever let this bad boy go in the mail bag might need to find a new job. The person they were sending it to must be so upset right now. "WHERE IS MY SNAKE WINE?!?!"

It's confirmed, by Oprah, no less. I will be ruling the world soon. Thank you very much right side of my brain.
Are you wondering if you'll be a ruler or a ruled? WELL. Check it out. Or, take the easy way out. Don't get dizzy.

Darnit Manny Ramirez. Whyyyyyyy?
"A source said that the substance was HCG, human chorionic gonadotropin, which is prescribed to stimulate female fertility and testosterone production in men and to treat delayed puberty in boys."
I guess he finally wanted to hit puberty. Can't blame the guy. That's embarrassing.

This might actually be the worst way to die. Actually.

Ouch. This would probably be the worst way to die as a cat. The kids who did that either think it's "freaking hilarious" or are constantly crying or peeing their pants. Either way, I bet they won't be caught.

SERIOUSLY. What is wrong with people? A million dollars...and then oh hey let's buy another ticket and win $500 just for kicks and giggles.

Oh Cher, if only she could turn back time to make the "especially gorgeous black-haired ambulance driver" stay just a little bit longer.
ps. I know where Cher lives.

UM I AM SO EXCITED FOR STAR TREK AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY.
Seriously, I don't even like sci-fi...like, at all. But that movie looks so sick I just can't even deal with it.